Late Pregnancy Mindfulness & Delight

Another from my pregnancy journal. A mindfulness meditation, of sorts, turned delight at the effect my pregnant body may or may not have on people 😉

April 19th, 2015

Yesterday I watched the geese fly North for the Summer
They soared in circles above our heads, eyeing ponds to land in before setting off on their long journey

Today I listened to pollinators visiting flowers and bringing with them the happiest of buzzing sounds

Today I meditated on my porch, soaking in the last minutes of sunshine
I opened my eyes just in time to witness the last rays of warmth glistening along the tops of the ponderosas before the sun gave its final wink and disappeared behind the mountain

Today I witnessed the intensity of the green shooting out of every leaf, blade of grass, and flower stem
I can almost hear it, its so vibrant

Today I practiced yoga next to a glistening blue lake, listening to the wind and birds, and the gentle whistle of the breeze rushing through the grass
I smiled when two young girls came by while I was in Vrkasana, offering an example of ability, strength and calm, hoping that such a visual would have a positive effect on their sense of femininity

Today, an entire grocery store full of people marveled at how robust and ripe with life I am
They hardly believed I wasn’t 90 weeks pregnant and actively giving birth in the checkout line
Oh, those poor, terrified old men

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A Late-Pregnancy Affirmation

An affirmation I wrote while 36 weeks pregnant. Simple yet effective. My baby dropped big time the next day, along with some other changes.

April 12th, 2015

My pelvis is open.

My ligaments are soft but strong.

I open and accept the energy of birth.

I surrender to my body’s needs.

I soften.

I open.

I relax.

I bring my baby forth onto this planet and into my arms.

 

My Womb Pulses With Life

Another from my pregnancy journal. My husband and I found out that we were pregnant the morning that we left for our honeymoon – a 7 day rafting trip on the Salmon River with 14 of our friends. It was such a gift to get to spend those early days of knowing on water, in a beautiful natural place, with plenty of free time to daydream and let my mind wander. My connection with the Earth in those early days really set the tone for my entire pregnancy.

September 8, 2014

My womb pulses with life
I grow you with the assistance of the Sun and the Moon
Luna is full above me as I sit in this deep canyon next to a wild river
Wild, like the cells multiplying to create this new life blooming inside of me
Science knows so much about this process, but there is still so much mystery, and every now and then I can taste those ancient secrets
Every night I say a prayer, place my hand on my belly, and wish you health, strength and vitality
I love you so much already and I am doing everything I can to create a womb of love and health for your first home
This is such a special time and I feel so blessed to be able to cherish it dearly

I Will Love Giving Birth

Before I became pregnant with my son, I purchased what I intended to be a Preconception Journal. Doing things consciously is always my intention, and motherhood was no exception. This is the first entry I wrote, having no idea that I was already pregnant. As a testament to the power of visualization, everything I wrote here came true. Feel free to use this as an affirmation while pregnant or trying to conceive.

August 21, 2014

I will love giving birth.

I will love the intensity.

I will find pleasure in the sensations.

I will find pleasure and trust in my body.

I will find stability, love and trust in my husband.

I look forward to the power and pleasure of dancing our baby out.

I chose to accept the process, to relax more deeply than I ever have.

I choose to be calm and accepting.

I choose to take things on their own time throughout conception, pregnancy, birth and parenting.

I choose an easy, comfortable birthing time.

If You Avoid It, It’s For You

Yoga is a vast universe. We all come to yoga for different reasons. We want to de-stress, get strong, soothe anxiety, heal an injury, etc. Then it hooks us.

There is an undeniable high and tranquility that, we sense, is our innate nature. And so we practice, again and again, diving into the facets that make us feel alive. And yet, there are so many aspects that we ignore. They may not be as pleasurable in the moment, but if we give them our full attention, that peace becomes where we live instead of being a place to arrive it.

I see it a lot in fitness-junkies, who love every minute of a physically challenging class, and then facing the stillness of savasana sends them right out the door. It’s fine to pick and choose, of course, and that’s part of the beauty of having so many options. Yoga can be whatever we want it to be. But know that whatever part of the practice you illuminate casts a shadow on what you ignore, and THAT is where your biggest lessons lie. That is the dry slice of the pie that you need to eat in order to look at all of yourself, be all of yourself and grow in beautiful ways you’ve never imagined.

Flexibility and flow come easily to me and I derive deep pleasure from diving into rhythm, improvisation and breath. But when I turn around and face discipline and strength in the eye? Gulp. Deep breath. Okay, let’s do this. I see where my limits are. I see where it bleeds out into my life. I have to face my subconscious beliefs about discipline and control. Yuck, but Yes!

There are two common, linked phrases among yogis: “If you avoid it, it’s for you” and “The pose begins when you want to leave it”. Part of the work of Asana is that it brings discomfort to our door. And sure, we can skirt around it by focusing on the person next to us or taking shortcuts, but no true development happens until you decide to be present and drink in this moment. Let yourself be here. Now. Face your shadow. It’s where your greatest magic and message are nesting, waiting for you to crack them open.

I Am Awakening

Listening to the whispers in the breeze and the stories rushing past my cold and happy river feet
I am awakening
My root has caught the eternal fire in my heart
I am grounded and alive

The winds of change blow all around me and I laugh as their possibilities play with my hair
I am free; to choose, to gaze, to walk, to wonder

Sown seeds have taken root beneath me and wherever I go, I am connected
Tapped in
Awake

Deep down, within, I know.

I know.

There Are Promising Lands

I’ve come to know that the promising land I’ve called home for years is one that I must now leave behind.

This land captivated me with its lushness, brilliance and expansive flowery meadows. While this land once was full of blooms, it has been in drought for some time. The promise of another Spring has led me to keep planting seeds of hope, and yet, I know I must leave this place and find a new meadow. In spite of occasional new sprouts, they are not enough to sustain.

This dying place is surrounded by frozen tundra, and while I believe I will make it through to lush springs once again, more beautiful and fertile than I’ve ever known, I have been paralyzed by my fear of this frozen wasteland that I must cross. Alone. No safety net. Tending my own fires. Facing new dangers and debts with my child on my hip.

But if I stay in this drought-stricken land, I will surely perish with optimism wavering.

I am strong. I am supported. I am aligned. I trust in the Universe.

And so I set off for unknown lands with a heart full of courage and my feet pointing forward.